Birth Order and Flossing

I've always been fascinated by birth order and the differences that usually result within a family. I remember writing a paper on it in college. I'm the oldest child in my family and I can say that my life growing up was not the same as my younger siblings. Which is ok, because as I've gotten older I've learned that differences are good. It would be terribly boring to live with carbon copies. I will say that there were some definite perks that came with being the oldest. I got to do everything first. Drive, date, graduate, get married and when I did those things it was a pretty big deal in the family. I got to stay up later than the younger kids, spend more time with friends, along with other privileges that came with the words, "Because she's older." But there were also the disadvantages trailing along with those perks. More responsibility, lots of babysitting, more chores, being told "You need to set an example" and "We expect more of you." And the ever-present request on every road trip, "Lisa, we're almost to the rest area. Help everyone find their shoes." The good and the bad. It's a package deal.

Now that my own little family is complete, I look at my own children and see those same patterns inevitably forming. My oldest feels that I ask way too much of him. I try not to, because I have that oldest child perspective, but sometimes it's just the way it is. And he usually holds the perks over the heads of the younger ones, as well. Then there's my youngest. According to all of his older siblings, he lives a charmed life. I admit, I do spoil him. He's the baby, and holding on to the last things that he does leads to a little bit of spoiling. I still rock him to sleep if he wants me too because there is no other younger child needing my attention. He gets away with more because he is just so dang cute. There are definite perks to being the baby. But then there's the disadvantages. Like when he was a baby and hardly ever got a good afternoon nap because he was in the car with me running the older kids around. I don't take him to the doctor as often or make sure he washes his hands as often or wears a jacket as often, just because my parenting style has definitely relaxed a little bit. He didn't get to nurse as long because I got busy and he spent a lot more time with babysitters because I was working. Looking back on his six years, I've sometimes felt guilty that I was not the doting mother with my last child that I was with my first child. But my life is not the same as it was and I'm definitely busier than I was. My husband asked me a little while ago if the kids had been flossing their teeth. It was an innocent question, not meant to be accusatory at all. But it was a stressful day and I nearly came unglued. I wanted to say, (but thankfully didn't), "Flossing? I've made sure they are fed, rested, bathed, dressed, brushed, washed, wiped, and hopefully taught and loved. When am I supposed to get to flossing?????" Life definitely gets fuller as time goes on and life for the first child is definitely different that life for the last. And that's ok. Good and bad. It's a package deal.

But what goes around comes around. Today I took the last child to the dentist. Turns out he has 8 cavities. Eight! I asked the dentist why he would have so many when my other children have all had really healthy teeth. His answer, "Lack of flossing."